Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Frankie Say RELAX!

I can NOT begin to count how many people have told me in how many different ways that if we would just "relax" that everything may fall into place and we'd be just fine. As an optimist myself, I love hearing this, however....easier said than done! For all of those loved ones out there who are worried about my inability to relax, I promise, I'm TRYING to "relax" (sounds like an oxymoron right?)

I am naturally a tightly wound, obsessive compulsive control freak (some may lovingly use the phrase "anal retentive"), so relaxing is not my strong suit....and that drives me bananas because I am also type A, bonafide overachiever/people pleaser, so to realize that my attempts at making myself relax are not only not succeeding but also that other people are noticing that I'm not succeeding at that attempt and could potentially be disappointed with me for the "failure" is making me crazy which again sort of defeats the relaxation attempts. So I'll work on it - promise.

Anyways - so we're 8 days down and 6 days to go - more than halfway through the 2 week wait - HOORAY!!! I'll tell ya it hasn't been easy this go round...something is different ~ I feel flat out CRUMMY! I don't know if it's side effects from the injectables or what - but my body is not happy with this last round of medicine and the IUI. I feel and look like a blowfish (hubby swears that I don't look like one - but I think he's just afraid of what will happen if he agrees with my assessment). And it's not just the blowfish syndrome, it actually hurts and is very uncomfortable, all sorts of weird "twinges" and cramps all through the day and night.

I of course have self diagnosed myself (via google searches) with OHSS...Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome (which is not a good thing). This basically means that your internal lady parts (ovaries) have become overstimulated and incredibly swollen due to the fertility meds. This can be severe and require hospitalization or it can be minor and work itself out. One of the biggest threats is Ovarian Torsion - that's right...twisted ovaries (awesome) which can have all sorts of crazy, horrible and irreversible side effects. So as I read the plethora of horror stories on the internet, I am doing my best to remain calm, to "relax" and reassure myself that this is NOT my diagnosis but I'll chat with Dr. Katz about that to confirm. I'm starting to become a bit of a hypochondriac now too...(relax Kelly, relax, relax....)

3 comments:

  1. Some don't realize how insulting it is when they say 'oh just relax', right? They also don't realize that with certain types of people (you and I) are told to relax, it then becomes another goal per se to 'relax' which then leads to over-analyzation of how to relax, and are you doing it the best way, and are you relaxed, and could you relax more, etc. Crazy cycle that really only leads to something else to stress about! So, just be yourself and who you're programmed to be genetically and you'll be fine =) Love ya girl ~ Heather

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  2. Lots of luck to you! I actually live in Charlotte and had a consultation at REACH, however ended up at CMC-Women's Institute.

    Have had 6 negative IUI cycles and did IVF last fall which was my first BFP ever however it ended up being ectopic which was devastating.

    Sending you baby dust!

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  3. Sorry the Bitch came:( I am starting my last IUI cycle too- and hoping for the best - for both of us!!

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