IVF it is....

I had my routine Day #3 appointment for blood work and an ultrasound...luckily Dr. Katz (my doc) was the one on duty today (they rotate on the weekends, so a lot of time you don't get to see "your" doc), so I actually got to chat with him for a bit. Although he had originally told us 4 IUIs is what he recommended he said that after this last one, he really doesn't feel like it will be productive. There's basically a 10-15% success rate for each IUI procedure, however MOST people see success within 3 attempts. The timing and preparations leading up to all 3 IUIs have been perfect and unfortunately there's no way to know what is going wrong after that. We've been spending between $700-$800 per month on the IUIs (with monitoring, drugs, the procedure, sperm wash, etc.), so it's not breaking the bank, but it's not chump change by any means either! I know people who have done 4, 5 and up to 9 IUIs with no success which is scary!

So he said that the decision is ours....we can go for IUI #4 or go ahead and start preparing for IVF (success rates closer to 60-65%). When I asked him what he would do if he were us, he said IVF with absolutely no hesitation.

We had to make a decision about the IUI TODAY, because if we did want to proceed with the IUI I'd have to start meds tonight. So it was all a little overwhelming. I was fine in the office and on the way home. But once I got home and Dave asked me about it, I had yet another break down. This is not normal for me. I'm weird - in my previous life I cried A LOT, but not about important things...I cry at Hallmark commercials, The Biggest Loser, Extreme Home Makeover and anytime I hear the song "Carolina in my Mind" by James Taylor (reminds me of my cheering days), but when it comes to real life stuff I'm really good at putting up walls like Fort Knox and holding it all together like a champ. Well now for some reason my walls are broken, no matter how hard I try, I can't put them UP. Poor Dave, he's not used to seeing this side of me. He just laid in the bed and rubbed my back and kept telling me that it will be ok.

I honestly never thought that we would get to this point...nothing against IVF it is AMAZING technology and I have learned that SO many of my friends have and are going through IVF now. I just never thought that it would be ME in those shoes. The preparations and drugs are just so hard on your body and spirit and of course, the cost is insane! Now I know that you can't put a price on the happiness a child brings but still...it's so frustrating to live in a state that does not require that insurance companies assist with infertility treatments. This is not a "choice" that I've made, this is a "choice" that was never given to me. I'm not an unemployed person choosing to have additional children so that I can accept more welfare from the government, I'm a hard working, tax paying citizen who just wants to have a family that we plan to support ourselves, not rely on the government to do so. (ok I'm off my political soapbox now).

We have a meeting with Dr. K, his nurses and the financial counselor on June 24th but basically it comes down to 3 options:

1. $12,500 = one try, includes the procedure, monitoring and injectables (4-5 shots per day on many days - YOWZA)

2. $16,000-ish = 2 tries

3. $20,000-ish = 3 tries (or more, not clear on this) and money back if it doesn't work

Those are rough guidelines - we'll learn more next week. Right away Dave said #3 sounds like what we should do. If we're gonna go for it, let's go all out - again, we'll decide for sure after our meeting on the 24th.

On the upside, what that means for this month is that I get to do NOTHING - no drugs, no shots, nothing...I just get to let my little body rest and re-set itself. I'm definitely looking forward to that!

If anyone has advice on how to prepare for IVF, I'd love to hear from you! I'm super nervous and of course, already trying to get my game plan together.

Much love to the hundreds of people I've heard from over the past month...I can't tell you how much I appreciate the love, support, prayers and most of all your stories too. My prayers are there with my fellow infertile myrtles. God has a plan!

3rd Time's a Charm???? (Day #1 of the 2ww)

So fate was in our favor and our IUI was scheduled for this morning - hooray, we didn't have to cut our little vacay short! We had the best time being AWAY and disconnected from most of the world for a few days. Unfortunately the shots made me pretty darn uncomfortable for the last day or two of the trip but nothing unmanageable - try to imagine having =water balloons inserted into your abdomen...that's sort of what it feels like. Squishy and icky and kind of sore on top of the nausea from my Metformin. This did not keep me from wolfing down some s'mores made with Nutella - if you haven't tried this heavenly combination, you should do so immediately!!!! (Trader Joe's Graham Crackers + Nutella (the more, the better) + a nice toasty jumbo marshmallow...or as my friend Janie's sweet little girl Claire calls them "marsh-a-mallows" - delicious, delicious, delicious and you don't have to wait for your chocolate bar to melt...YUMMMM-O!)

I only had one MINOR meltdown (I say it was minor, the Italian might say differently...he made the mistake of making a remark about what the hormones are doing to my temperment at the beginning of said meltdown...needless to say that took me from a 2 up to a 10 rather quickly - sidenote to ANY men out there who may have stumbled across this post...do NOT, I repeat NOT under any circumstances EVER make reference to a woman's hormones (undergoing fertility or not) - you will not win this argument). Any way, the doc's office called on Friday afternoon, only an hour after we had been in Boone to let me know that I'd need to take an Ovidrel shot on Sunday evening. I didn't have an Ovidrel shot with me as I hadn't been given a prescription for one this month yet, so had to begin an easter egg hunt all over Boone and Blowing Rock in order to find a pharmacy that would be able to get one. Apparently there aren't many infertile women in the mountains...after 2 hours on the phone with about 10 different pharmacists, the sweetest pharmacist at Boone Drug spent an hour calling all of their locations and finally the hospital in order to get it rush ordered in! Thank to Boone Drug! If they had a location here in Charlotte, I'd be a customer for life!!!!

So anyway, the Italian and I had to go in to REACH at 7am this morning for my blood work and his "donation" - then we were back at 11am for the procedure. We are feeling hopeful, the doc said that according to the numbers, the timing could not have worked out better - probably performed the actual procedure minutes before my actual ovulation time according to my progesterone levels. And the Italian's swimmers were awesome...more than 15 million (normal is 10 mil) - he was very proud of his contribution. :)

Unfortunately, the doc said that even though everything so far is lined up perfectly, there are no guarantees...at this point, it's totally a God thing. So I'm going to let go and let God handle this from here.

So today is officially day #1 of my least favorite period of time...the two week wait (2ww). June 14th is the date that we'll know something. We can't take a test before then due to the hormones in the injections that I've been taking (they'll show a false positive and I don't want to get excited about something that "isn't").

And I got an email today letting me know that my blog as been listed on the Stirrup Queen's Completely Anal List of Blogs That Proves That She Really Missed Her Calling as a Personal Organizer Blogroll: http://www.stirrup-queens.com/a-whole-lot-of-blogging-brought-to-you-sorted-and-filed/ If you or someone you know is searching for more real life stories about infertility and/or success stories, the Stirrup Queen's blog will keep you busy for weeks!!!!

Prayers are appreciated - prayers for patience, prayers for peace and prayers for a BFP on June 14th!!!! BFP = Big Fat POSITIVE :)

Cheers!