Waiting & Weighting....

Waiting, waiting, waiting...ugh I feel like that is all I ever do.  For right now, I'm waiting until October 7th - that's my next lab & ultrasound date.  If all looks as they hope, I'll wait two more days and start my meds, then I'll wait 9-12 days until the precious little follies are ready to be retrieved, then wait 3-5 more days for transfer (fingers crossed as long as all goes well), then wait 2 more weeks to find out if we have sticky embryos, then waiting 8-12 more weeks until you have a much better chance that all is safe.  In the meantime, that leaves me in limbo land waiting to wait and thinking about waiting while I'm waiting. 

In the meantime, I'm also trying to stop weighting, Weighting, WEIGHTING.  The reduction in exercise and trying to figure out what the heck I'm supposed to be eating is doing a number on my figure.  I don't feel like myself as I've had to cut back on exercise SUBSTANTIALLY over the past few months...I haven't run a 9 or 12 mile run in ages.  I'm doing my best to eat healthy although I'll tell you the internet is driving me insane....how am I supposed to know what to eat? 

• "Eat full fat dairy" / "Eat NO dairy"
• "Eat fresh, raw veggies, lots of them" / "No raw veggies or fruits, no raw anything" (apparently cold foods throw off my chi - according to my acupuncturist 
• "Limit refined carbs and sugars" (to control my PCOS - which apparently causes insulin resistance) / "Chow on some full fat ice cream a couple of times a week"
• "Eat lots of protein" / "Limit animal protein"
• "Eat red meat a few times a week" / "Limit animal protein"
• "Drink soy milk" / "Avoid all soy products"
• "Green Tea is good" / "Green Tea is bad" - (green tea is my other go to when I want to unwind and relax...I drink it all day long. 
• "Eat a high fat/high protein diet", "Eat organic everything"....

The one thing that seems to pretty unanimous (unfortunately) is that exercise (even moderate) is NO good for anyone who is in good physical shape and dealing with IF (Infertility for those who failed to read this post).  UGH - for those who know me, they know that I'm pretty compulsive about exercise.  And I'm that way for a number of reasons:
1. My sanity - I use my time running as meditation
2. I don't like being out of shape - call me vain if you want, I just don't feel good when I'm mushy
3. I get sad/depressed when I'm inactive and cannot snap out of it till I get back in the groove
4. Energy - when I don't exercise, I'm tired, lathargic and not nearly as productive as I am when I get my daily run in (I have no time to be tired or lathargic with my job).

So I've spent hours (no probably DAYS) scouring the internet trying to find SOMETHING, ANYTHING that will tell me that exercising just prior to and even during the IVF process is A-OK. 

Negatory...see snippets from various studies and articles below...

Women who exercised four or more hours a week for years were 40% less likely to have a live birth after in vitro fertilization (IVF), according to a study of more than 2,200 patients.

Moreover, exercising four or more hours for one to nine years before attempting in vitro fertilization also doubled the risk of implantation failure, wrote Stephanie N. Morris, M.D., Harvard Medical School, and colleagues, in the October issue of Obstetrics and Gynecology.

"Interestingly, the most detrimental effect was observed in cardiovascular exercisers, who had a 30% lower chance of successful pregnancy after their first cycle of IVF," compared with women who didn't exercise, the investigators wrote.

By contrast, walking for one to three hours a week did not increase the risk of IVF failure, but women who walked for four or more hours a week "were 50% less likely to have a live birth compared with women who did not regularly exercise."

The authors concluded that while exercise has "many known health benefits, it does not seem to contribute to successful IVF outcomes."


After reading this, I started to feel like I'm doomed.  I've exercised heavily for more than 15 years (an hour to hour and a half almost daily - with 30 minutes to an hour plus of that being cardio (usually) and filling in the gaps with yoga, pilates, weight training, etc.  But even my weight training is usually high intensity to keep the heart rate elevated throughout.  Now to hear that even walking 4 hours a week can contribute to low success rates?????  What in the world????????? 

So from today forward I'm restricting myself to walking and probably super duper light yoga (not my psycho vinyasa classes).  Siyonara runs...yesterday was my last until this process is finished.  We're investing an INSANE amount of money, time and energy so I guess I need to do all that I can to ease the process along.  I can't undo the hours and hours of exercise I've done in the past (which very well may contribute to difficulties throughout this process) but I can make sure that I'm doing (or not) doing what I need to now! 

Pray for my sanity and pray for those around me...I'm very grumpy when I'm feeling frumpy!