Hi Ho, Hi Ho - it's off to the doc I go!!! (Tomorrow)

OK - so I just had to shoot up my follistim drugs sitting at my desk - that was one of the weirdest things I've done so far. These shots have to be taken at very certain times and unfortunately with my job, I can't always be in the privacy of my own home when THE TIME comes! It's super weird having to live my life according to my body's schedule. I'm used to telling IT what to do and when, not the other way around.

Doctor's appointment tomorrow which I'm actually looking forward to. I always like going to see the doctors at REACH...at least I feel like I'm moving forward when I'm meeting with them...during the 2ww (2 week wait) it feels like everything is standing still and I'm just waiting, waiting, waiting.

I do feel like a lab rat though...at the dr's for bloodwork several times each month and then the lovely ultrasound and not the cute kind you get where they rub jelly on your belly, you hold hands with your hubby and get to see your precious little baby growing inside of you. At this ultrasound, it goes IN, yup INSIDE...WAY INSIDE. The first time they did it I was totally freaked out. It goes in, WAY IN and moves around and they measure all sorts of things - the thickness of your lining (I was actually flattered at my last appointment the doc said, "lining looks good...REAL good and I don't say that to all the gals" - geez doc, you're making me blush), they also check both ovaries to see how many little baby follicles are growing (follies are basically little baby eggs - a "normal" woman produces one good one each month and then ovulates (releases one of the eggs) out of one of her ovaries).

For the past 2-3 months I've been on drugs to help stimulate follicle growth because I wasn't ovulating on my own, but Dr. Katz wasn't totally satisfied with the size of the follicles. My right side is PCOS which stands for Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome which means that too many little baby follicles develop and there's so many of them in there that there is no way that any one of them can mature enough to release (ovulation) - so he started me on this Follistim stuff (the shots) - not as bad as I thought it would be, by the way...I'm actually getting to the point where I'm hardly fazed by needles anymore (is that even the way you spell that in this context? fazed, phased, phazed, whatever I'll spell it however I want).

Anyway, back to the appt...Tomorrow, HOPEFULLY I'll have SEVERAL decent sized follies (in the 20mm+ range) on both sides and he'll tell me when we can schedule our 3rd IUI. If the days add up correctly, it should be Tuesday...praying that it's Tuesday, please make it be Tuesday. We have a super fun vacay planned with some of our best friends up to our old stomping grounds Boone, NC for the holiday weekend and I don't want to have to cut it short, but we'll see! (again, adjusting to living life according to "the dictator" a.k.a. my hormones...which aren't even mine anymore come to think of it).

And speaking of this vacation - it is a perfect example of my type A, obsessive compulsive, anal retentiveness...this morning I sent my girlfriends a 3 sheet, Excel workbook detailing out our meal plans, tentative itinerary and shopping lists for the weekend. Thank God people are willing to put up with my craziness! I'm a real handful!

But you know, I've been this way forever. I remember when my parents moved when I was in college I found a box with my old diaries in it and instead of "Kelly loves so-and-so" or "She is so mean, she made fun of me for wearing Jordache instead of Guess", I had timelines and agendas for everything - Camping Trips, Vacations, Christmas Eve Dinners (i.e. Grandma & Grandpa arrive at 5:00pm, 5:30 pm Dinner in the Dining Room, 5:45pm open presents in Family Room (I was always anxious to get to the presents)), my self thrown 13th birthday party (that's right my parents wouldn't throw me a birthday party that year, so I made my own invitations, sent them out and planned my own...it was a smashing success until my parents called all of their parents and everyone had to go home)...I think I MIGHT get some of it from my dad, but it must have increased in potency with the next generation. If I weren't me, I might be quite annoyed by me.

So anyway, if it comes to mind, please say prayers for big healthy follies (but not too many - don't want to be Kate Gosselein, I can't pull off that haircut and there's no way Dave could pull off the Ed Hardy apparel once we reach our demise).

Happy Memorial Day friends! Hope you all have FUN plans for yourselves!

Dr's Instructions: "Drink two milkshakes, stop running & call me in the morning..."

For those who don't know me, I'm usually a pretty active chick. Not like sporty spice active (I have absolutely NO hand-eye coordination, but give me a 5,6,7,8 with some choreography and I'll work it like nobody's business...complete with hair tosses). I also started running several years ago. Nothing makes me happier than throwing on my kicks and heading outside for a 2 hour run. I know, people think I'm C-razy...maybe I am, but I love it. Nothing clears my mind like a nice LOOOONG run.

So in February, when I self referred myself to the specialists at REACH one of the first things my doc asked me about was my diet and exercise regiment. I was feeling pretty stinkin' proud of myself as I proceeded to tell him that I ran anywhere from 30-45 miles a week along with occasional yoga, cycling and once in a while an hour here or there on the elliptical.

As for diet, I usually eat pretty clean. Now trust me, I'm not an angel all the time with my eating, I love my pizza, cookies, brownies and most of all Starburst Reds Jelly Beans - but on a day to day basis I eat really well...egg white omelets with veggies along with old fashioned oatmeal, flaxseed meal and walnuts EVERY, SINGLE morning for breakfast, usually chicken breast or salmon with spinach or broccoli for lunch and chicken breast, salmon or shrimp with broccoli roasted in olive oil for dinner and I snack on plain low fat greek yogurt with berries, more flaxseed meal and either almonds or walnuts in the morning or afternoon. All the "superfoods" the good stuff that you're supposed to be eating. All the magazines say so, right?

So imagine my surprise when my specialist says, "That's what I thought. I need you to drink a couple of milkshakes a week and chill out on the exercise." (insert record scratch here) -

uh what?????? If you're trying to have a baby, shouldn't you be focused on getting your body in the best possible condition that it can be?????

Well apparently the amount of exercise I was doing can lead to annovulation (which I had had for years). So for the past couple of months, I've been TRYING to really cut back - but I'm not gonna lie, it sucks. I know for many people a doctor's note to have ice cream every week and not exercise for more than 30 minutes or so would be a dream come true, but I hate it. So for the past week, I've been inching my mileage back up - I did a couple of 6 mile runs and it felt amazing (I can hear my phone ringing with my mother scolding me on the other line now)...

So I'm going to be careful and not go back to my 9, 12 or 15 mile runs, but I'll be sneaking in a few 6 milers here and there - I'm trying to establish BALANCE where I can.

OK - now time to break into my Follistim kit and shoot up with more hormones (which make me oh so pleasant to live with). I apologize profusely to my husband, coworkers and family for having to deal with my cheery disposition and mood swings over the past several months. And just a word of warning (husband), if you happen to mention that perhaps my mood swing is related to the hormone injections, just be prepared for the outburst to follow. (Don't say I didn't warn you)