2

2…it may not seem like a monumental number to most but in 2 weeks my sweet girl will be 2 years old. And in less than 2 months I'll have 2 babies to love on, care for and worry about/obsess over.

First, let's start with little Nicolette turning 2. 

This hardly seems possible or even fair. The past year has gone by at least twice as quickly as her first year. Every day she is learning more, talking more and making me laugh more. She is such a treasure and really is such a sweet, sweet child. She's an absolute sponge…soaking in EVERYTHING that everyone around her says and does (so please watch your language if you're spending any time around Nicolette)!

The Italian marvels at the fact that she and I can sit at the dinner table and talk back and forth for a good 30-45 minutes. She is my best little buddy.

I can't bring myself to correct her when she walks up to me with her arms up and says, "Mommy? Hold you?" My heart will ache when she says it correctly and will very likely break when she no longer asks me to hold her at all. She loves to curl up in my lap and say, "Mommy, make me cozy?" which means she wants me to cradle her and hold her like a little baby. She'll do the same thing with her dollies and either ask me to make them cozy or cradle them in her little arms herself and beam with pride as she boasts about how she's making her baby cozy. She is obsessed with her baby dolls and could spend the entire day taking care of them. Sometimes she "nurses" them, sometimes feeds them bottles, changes their diapers, always careful to put diaper cream on, pushes them in her shopping cart or "strolder" (which she pronounces like I imagine a German would…she almost rolls the "s" and emphasizes the "d" in strolder"). And speaking of strollers, she still loves the stroller and has no problem hanging out in the stroller for an hour or more at dr.'s appointments or whatnot. She LOOOOOOVES shoes and loves looking at her shoe collection and picking out which shoes she's going to wear for the day. Sadly she also loves hair and hair accessories. The hair is finally coming in but not enough for ponytails and Nicolette asks for mommy to "do ponytails" almost daily…soon enough baby, soon enough.

Exhibit A - hanging out in the stroller happily while
mommy enjoys a pedicure she was given for her birthday! 

Then as soon as we got come, she wanted to
give Daddy his own pedicure!

Nursing her bunny

Obsessed with mommy's shoes

Obsessed with mommy's shoes

"Mommy do ponytails?"

She loves when I make silly faces at her, can say her first and last name and can also tell you that she turns 2 in July. She has started reciting entire pages of some of her favorite books. Her favorite book right now is an old Golden Book from the 60's titled "Little Mommy".  She'll ask to read that one and randomly recite "Billy is Daddy, he works in the city. He's got a new car, isn't it pretty?" or many of the other pages from the book in her sweet little sing song voice throughout the day. She still loves to "read" and look at books. 9 times out of 10 when I lay her down for nap or bedtime she'll look up at me and say "Book?" I'll hand her a book and she'll flip through the pages until she falls asleep. I hope her love for reading continues as she grows up!

We've made a few feeble attempts at potty training. Had a couple of instances where she asked to go peepee or poopoo on the potty and actually did it. Also had a successful afternoon in big girl underpants and then had 3 accidents in big girl underpants the next morning so I'm not sure where we stand on the potty. I want to take the time to do the intensive 3 day potty training "boot camp" but we honestly have not had 3 consecutive days at home without traveling, dr.'s appointments, mommy's meetings or classes for work or what not. Oh well, we'll get there eventually right?

Our first peepee…I have more photos but refuse to post
nudie pics on my blog. 

We spent a few days with Gram & Papa in Connecticut over Father's Day weekend. Gram was so impressed at what a good eater Nicolette was. We're still 80/90% organic with what we feed her. Right now her favorite food would probably have to be cucumbers with red wine vinegar and a little seasoning salt (this was my FAVORITE snack as a kid, teenager and even now). She'll eat a full cucumber in one sitting and ask for more. She also gobbles up wild alaskan salmon…she can eat a 6-8oz filet with no problem. She loves the oatmeal I make for her in the mornings with old fashioned oats, hemp seeds, chia seeds, ground flaxseed meal and wild organic blueberries. She's always asking for more "booblerries". Avocados are still a go to for us as well. And of course we're still nursing 2-3 times a day. I've tried to get her to drink organic, grass fed milk out of  a sippy cup and she really had no interest and would take a little sip and then hand it back to me with a look of disgust on her face and say "no…no muhlk." She does love cheese though! Don't think she's totally deprived though…she has eaten take out pizza two or three times and even had the grilled chicken bites at Chick fil A once. She's only had cake once, on her first birthday but we'll have cake again this year on her birthday.

Speaking of birthdays, I had so much fun planning her 1st birthday celebration but this year I was really torn over what to do. I finally decided (last week) that what I'd really like more than anything is just to celebrate with our little family. I plan to bake a cake from scratch with Nicolette and we'll have her favorite dinner and just celebrate with the three of us. Simple and sweet. Part of me still wants to have "a party" but I think this will be a better memory for our family. I know she probably won't remember it, but I always will.

And now it's Baby Walker's turn

In less than 2 months, we'll be a family of 4 and I can hardly believe it! This pregnancy dragged on in the beginning. When I was so nauseous it felt like summer would never get here but now everything is in fast forward. My second trimester was very similar to my second trimester with Nicolette but the third trimester is definitely more exhausting this time around. I'm sure that's because I'm chasing a very active nearly two year old for most of my waking hours. Carrying Nicolette around and bending down and picking her up and putting her down is definitely harder on my body than my old job. I've been having tons of Braxton Hicks contractions which I really didn't have with Nicolette but my OB assured me that this is normal, especially for a second pregnancy. He just keeps reminding me to rest while I can and not do too much. Ha! Easy for him to say…he's never experienced the "nesting" instinct that we mommies to be go through. I'll settle down to take a bath and instead spend 4 hours cleaning our bathroom and then decide to spend the next 2 days totally reorganizing the bathroom and linen closet. Go to the kitchen for a snack and spend 4-5 hours emptying all cabinets, drawers and both pantries and deep cleaning and reorganizing the kitchen. Sit down to watch tv and spend hours painting and upholstering Nicolette's tiny table and chairs that go in her playroom. I'm a crazy person. And yet Walker's room is at a stand still.

The Italian spent a weekend priming and painting the room and is insisting on installing crown moulding but that isn't up yet. He's been traveling a LOT for work including some international travel so finding time to complete this is a challenge. AND we're having all of the carpet replaced in our house at the end of the month so we have to work around that too. Poor Walker's dresser and crib are still boxed up in our foyer…no sense getting them out until the new carpet is in. And I've got some really cool vintage golf artwork that's just chilling in the hallway…can't really decide where to hang them until the furniture is in and we've already established that that isn't happening anytime soon, soooooo….just twiddling my thumbs on this project.

Since I can't "nest" in the nursery I started focusing on the playroom. I've started making cornice boards for the windows (a super cheap and easy DIY project) and painted her table and chairs and padded and upholstered the seat cushions. Got some cheap, bright throw pillows for the sofa and am hoping to have enough fabric left over from the cornice boards and upholstery project to be able to make a couple of throw pillows for the sofa. We'll eventually paint the playroom…probably a neutral/tan color. Nicolette's play kitchen is up there and it is red so I wanted to find something fun but not to girly to go with the red kitchen. Hopefully this will all look nice once it's all finished (if that ever happens).

Table & Chairs "Before"

Table & Chairs "After" - I think I'm going to stencil the top
with some sort of pattern

First cornice board - don't have the hardware to hang it yet

PILLOWS!

I don't remember feeling tired as easily when I was pregnant with Nicolette. I get worn out so quickly now with Walker. And not in a "I want to take a nap" sort of way. More of a "I feel like I just did 20 burpees or mountain climbers and now I can't breath and need to sit down ASAP" kind of way. Speaking of burpees and mountain climbers I have only worked out a couple of times during this pregnancy and now that I'm getting the "I'm going to black out and faint if I don't sit down every 15 minutes" feeling I'm afraid to even try. Sometimes I feel like we can go for a walk without fear of me fainting in the middle of the street but not very often. It was scary enough when it was just me while I was pregnant with Nicolette but now that I have her with me and I'm pregnant and could easily black out in the middle of our neighborhood I think I'll pass on the walks (unless we have friends with us).

I had a lengthy prenatal consult with my lactation consultant yesterday and I think we have a good plan moving forward to help breastfeeding with Walker get off to a better start than we did with Nicolette…fingers crossed and lots of prayers that I don't have to go through the rigorous schedule (see here) that I kept up for the early months with Nicolette.

Today I scheduled all of my remaining prenatal OB appointments, pre-registered at the hospital and registered Nicolette for a "sibling class" at the hospital for next month. We had a good OB appointment this morning, he was super active so the nurse had to chase him around with the monitor but his heartbeat was strong at 154 bpm. (My blood pressure is still on the low side at 90/54). I also moved the pack n play and glider into our room so that when Nicolette sees everything we can talk about where Walker is going to sleep and how things are going to change in a couple of months. She already knows where his room is and talks about it a lot. She also knows that Walker is in mommy's tummy, that she's going to be a big sister and that her brother's name is Walker. Nicolette and I went shopping today and picked out a special gift for her to bring to the hospital to give to Walker when he gets here. It's a little puppy dog lovie with his name embroidered on it. She loved carrying it around the store and seemed to understand when I told her that it was a present for her to give to her brother.

Walker is craving many of the same foods that I craved with Nicolette at this point…lots of salad and TONS OF FRUIT! Berries are my obsession…especially raspberries, but pretty much all fruit is fair game at this point…watermelon, mangos, grapes, berries, apples and I'm addicted to lemonade mixed with sparkling water to make it nice a fizzy.

Overall at nearly 33 weeks pregnant I'm feeling good but also a little nervous. Nervous about being away from Nicolette for the first time ever, nervous that this labor and delivery will likely be entirely different than my first so not knowing what to expect, nervous that I'll go to the hospital too early or even worse wait until it's too late (since last time I delivered 40 minutes after checking in I can't say that I'm the best at gauging how far along I am into my labor), nervous that Nicolette will feel neglected once Walker does arrive, nervous, nervous, nervous. But also excited. I can't wait to meet this little guy and have another baby to snuggle and love. And definitely excited about watching Nicolette love him too! We are truly, truly blessed and I thank God daily for trusting not one but two precious babies to our care. He has more faith in me than I have in myself.

HDBD - 19 weeks

That's right!  Today is Hump Day, Bump Day!  We're officially at 19 weeks (almost 1/2 way through, can you believe it????) and for those who read my post yesterday we are BOTH doing great!!!! Our anatomy scan ultrasound was absolutely amazing!!!  I can't believe that there is a little, tiny person inside there!  I'm feeling large and in charge, but I know that this is NOTHING compared to what is to come over the next 20 weeks! 

We're still holding out on the gender.  I have the results sealed in an envelope to give to the uber talented Jill DelMastro (http://weddingcakesbyjill.com/) today!  She'll be baking our cake with either PINK or BLUE inside and we can NOT wait to see what it is!!! 

Dave is still holding firm with his guess of It's A Girl...to be honest, I kind of feel girl too, but am saying boy because if it is a boy I would be equally thrilled - so we have one of us on each side of the vote!  I'm curious to hear other people's guesses too!  Our guests will be dressed in pink or blue to cast their vote so it will be exciting to see who's right and who's wrong!  Either way - there are no losers in this game! 

On another note, I was doing my prenatal yoga this morning and just started crying - not sad crying at all, definitely happy tears.  I can't believe how unbelievably grateful we are for where we are in this process right now!  Thanks be to God for all of His wonderful blessings!!!!

Happy Hump Day friends!!!!  xoxo

Short and SWEET...

Got the results this afternoon....


POSITIVE!!!!


That's right for the first time EVER, I can say that I have a BFP!!!!  (Big Fat Positive)  My HcG is currently 700, which my Dr. said is very, VERY good!  We have to go back on Monday for more blood work to ensure that the HcG is doubling.  So pray for 1400 (or above) on Monday!!!!!

We're cautiously optimistic as we still have a ways to go but are currently much further along than we ever have been in the past.  I have no words to express my thanks for the prayers and support from so many!  I wish I could contact each of you individually with the good news.  Continued prayers are appreciated as we pray for things to continue as they should for happy, HEALTHY, baby(ies) :)

Much love!

Looking good!

This will be a short post - I'm actually super tired from all of the meds and have tons of work to catch up on. 

I've been on stimulation meds for 5 days now and had my first monitoring ultra sound and blood work this morning.  During the ultrasound the doc kept telling me how "great" everything looks.  Said I'm in the "golden range" of where I need to be at this point in time.  Hooray!  Later today I heard from my IVF nurse and she said that my bloodwork looked very good as well, so I add another shot to my regimine tonight (3 tonight, 1 tomorrow morning, 2 tomorrow night) and then I'm back to the doc on Saturday morning for more monitoring. 

For my IVF friends out there, my E2 levels are 649 with 6 follies on the Right (14, 13, 12, 12, 11 & 10) and 5 on the Left (13, 12, 12, 11, 10) - for my non IVF friends...this is all normal and I promise I will NOT be the Octomom...not all of the follicles are guaranteed to contain eggs and once the retrieval takes place not all eggs will survive and once what's left is fertilized we may be left with only a few viable embryos for transfer.  We're praying for more than that, but will graciously accept whatever God decides to share with us!  Regardless, Reach has a policy of only transferring 2 embryos, so no octuplets here.   

They have to watch very closely because if I get overstimulated then I could wind up in the hospital and possibly have to cancel this cycle...definitely NOT the direction we want to head in.   

So far the meds aren't as bad as I have heard that they can be.  I'm super thirsty and feel like I'm drinking water nonstop but I have zero appetite and feel queasy pretty much all day and I'm exhausted.  The Italian and I took Chance for a 15-20 minute walk tonight and I was absolutely wiped out by the time we finished.  They assured me that this is all normal, so I'll deal with it.  Thankfully tomorrow is Friday and miracle of miracles I don't have to work this weekend so I plan to sleep, sleep, sleep. 

I can NOT begin to thank you all enough for the thoughts, prayers and words of encouragement you've shared with me over the past several months.  It means more to me than you will ever know!  Continued prayers are much appreciated as we may have up to another week before the retrieval is scheduled.  xoxo 

Mark 11:24 ESV

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Dr's Instructions: "Drink two milkshakes, stop running & call me in the morning..."

For those who don't know me, I'm usually a pretty active chick. Not like sporty spice active (I have absolutely NO hand-eye coordination, but give me a 5,6,7,8 with some choreography and I'll work it like nobody's business...complete with hair tosses). I also started running several years ago. Nothing makes me happier than throwing on my kicks and heading outside for a 2 hour run. I know, people think I'm C-razy...maybe I am, but I love it. Nothing clears my mind like a nice LOOOONG run.

So in February, when I self referred myself to the specialists at REACH one of the first things my doc asked me about was my diet and exercise regiment. I was feeling pretty stinkin' proud of myself as I proceeded to tell him that I ran anywhere from 30-45 miles a week along with occasional yoga, cycling and once in a while an hour here or there on the elliptical.

As for diet, I usually eat pretty clean. Now trust me, I'm not an angel all the time with my eating, I love my pizza, cookies, brownies and most of all Starburst Reds Jelly Beans - but on a day to day basis I eat really well...egg white omelets with veggies along with old fashioned oatmeal, flaxseed meal and walnuts EVERY, SINGLE morning for breakfast, usually chicken breast or salmon with spinach or broccoli for lunch and chicken breast, salmon or shrimp with broccoli roasted in olive oil for dinner and I snack on plain low fat greek yogurt with berries, more flaxseed meal and either almonds or walnuts in the morning or afternoon. All the "superfoods" the good stuff that you're supposed to be eating. All the magazines say so, right?

So imagine my surprise when my specialist says, "That's what I thought. I need you to drink a couple of milkshakes a week and chill out on the exercise." (insert record scratch here) -

uh what?????? If you're trying to have a baby, shouldn't you be focused on getting your body in the best possible condition that it can be?????

Well apparently the amount of exercise I was doing can lead to annovulation (which I had had for years). So for the past couple of months, I've been TRYING to really cut back - but I'm not gonna lie, it sucks. I know for many people a doctor's note to have ice cream every week and not exercise for more than 30 minutes or so would be a dream come true, but I hate it. So for the past week, I've been inching my mileage back up - I did a couple of 6 mile runs and it felt amazing (I can hear my phone ringing with my mother scolding me on the other line now)...

So I'm going to be careful and not go back to my 9, 12 or 15 mile runs, but I'll be sneaking in a few 6 milers here and there - I'm trying to establish BALANCE where I can.

OK - now time to break into my Follistim kit and shoot up with more hormones (which make me oh so pleasant to live with). I apologize profusely to my husband, coworkers and family for having to deal with my cheery disposition and mood swings over the past several months. And just a word of warning (husband), if you happen to mention that perhaps my mood swing is related to the hormone injections, just be prepared for the outburst to follow. (Don't say I didn't warn you)